[This is a reprint from our Christian Cowboys and Friends Newsletter in March/April 2011. It is very important to know why certain people are in our lives and what to do about it. It is essential to our well being to move away from certain relationships, and essential to our well being to cherish, respect , and honor certain relationships. Go to God for direction and understanding. He will let you know. Listen to His instruction and do not overlook it over others opinions or your own opinion. Proverbs 4:7 “Wisdom is the principal thing;Therefore get wisdom.And in all your getting, get understanding.” Roman 8:14 “For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.”]
Throughout our lives we are constantly meeting people. Some are in our lives for a very brief time, some for a short season, others for a long season and some for the rest of our lives.
Often we do not know why they were brought into our life. Sometimes it is very evident as each of you help the other to fulfill your purpose in that season. Often we mistake why a person is in
our life and we try to force a relationship to be what it was not intended to be.
Then comes confusion, hurt, heartache and/or heartbreak, bad feelings toward one another and separation. God had them in your life for a good reason but when we placed (or misplaced) them into the wrong position, trouble develops.
So it is very important to seek God and discern when we meet people (and for people we have known for a long time) why we have been brought together. We need to ask God, “Why are you (this person or this group of people) in my life?”
Stop long enough to hear His answer. It may be a process to understand why or you may immediately discern why he or she or they are in your life.
Let’s take a look at male and female (boy/girl, man/woman) relationships. We have often seen two very nice people – a spirit-filled man and a spirit-filled woman meet and have a connection in the soulish realm (your soul is your mind, will, emotions). They have personalities that click together well. Spiritually they are compatible. They are even drawn to each other physically. It seems like a good
match, possibly marriage.
However they are a wrong match. That is not the purpose they are in each other’s lives. But they move toward an intimate relationship with thoughts of a future together as mates for life in marriage. But that is not the reason they met. They may have met to be very good friends, to work together in secular or ministry endeavors. Now they are on the wrong road and have to go through the process of breaking the soul tie. Then they become to each other what they were intended for. Sometimes because of hurts and emotions this never happens. Others are able to go back to being good friends again. They are now a good brother and sister in Christ again. They are there for help, prayer, support and possibly to work together or open doors for others to be in their life. Some go their separate ways with occasional or no contact in the future.
Why didn’t it work? They both loved God, they get along quite well (or maybe they didn’t), they have similar interests. They are drawn to each other (at least for awhile).
The Bible says in Amos 3:3 “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” This means going in the same direction, at the same pace, with the same dreams and same purpose. We are a team.
If you don’t get Amos 3:3 you will never get Psalm 133 where “God commanded the blessing there where they dwell together in unity.”
This is one mind, one heart, one soul striving together for the faith of the gospel (Phil. 1:27). When there is no unity of purpose in plans, dreams, vision and direction of where and how to proceed in life together, there is a major conflict awaiting. Down deep inside, the place each wanted to be or go and the how to get there was different.
The Holy Spirit was at work all along. He was giving them a check in their spirit that this was not His plan for them, that trouble awaited, that this was not the best!! He had in mind for them.
But when emotions enter in, it is easy for us to overlook the check in your spirit, and not follow the direction and peace of God. We follow peace all right but it is our own peace, our desire and our flesh we want to please.
We wonder, “Why aren’t you blessing this God?” Some reasons God would direct us on a different course is to: (1) wait for another season (if this is the one for them) (2) let them know this not the one to commit to in marriage or (3) split and go separate ways because He loves us and has a better plan and a person, even more suitable for them and their future.
Some understand that the season is over as God shows them and part in peace. Restoration of peace, relationship and friendship
is always God’s path when possible.
Now let’s look at other types of relationships. Two people or two couples meet. They are in the same business and enjoy like interests. Their talents joined together it seems would compliment each
So they become business partners. But that was not why they met. They handle their business, their schedules and financial decisions so very differently, it becomes miserable to work together.
They get bitter, they become distrustful. They split up. Sometimes lawsuits emerge. What happened? These were descent honest people with good talents and good products.
What happened was this. They were the wrong match. That is not why God put them in each other’s lives.
Perhaps they were there to learn from each other or to teach each other. Perhaps they could have had two businesses and each would be a blessing to the other as in a contractor and sub-contractor role. They both probably had a check about entering the partnership. But on paper and in their natural senses, it looked good. So they overlooked the check in their spirit put there by the Holy Spirit.
Then they proceeded down the wrong path.
We need to discern why are people in our lives. When we do this and understand the proper season it provides peace and unity and blessings. We will understand not only why people are with us now but we will understand when that season changes and the relationship is different. We won’t get mad when they leave us. We will just know it’s God’s timing for something different.
Let’s look at two rodeo cowboys. They get along great. They have the same desire to rodeo and win. But they don’t travel together very well. One is desiring a closer walk with God. The other wants
to party a lot. One may want to rodeo nationwide and will work toward making the National Finals Rodeo and try to win a World Championship. The other likes to stay close to home and with his family more and work another job as well as rodeo. They try to rodeo together for awhile, then in the end they get new travelling partners. Hopefully they both understand why they were in each others lives. They were there to help and encourage each other to do better. They still cheer each other on. They just don’t travel together.
A pastor may have someone come to their church. They are talented to play musical instruments and have a great voice to sing. So Pastor sets them in as the worship leader. But, trouble is that is not why they are in this church. Another should be the worship leader. They struggle with the choir and the church services. The pastor should have asked God, “Why is this person in my life?” Then he would know what position to place him/her in. Everybody would have ministered together in peace.
When a pastor places someone who desires to serve elderly people in the children’s nursery or someone who loves children in the nursing home ministry, it will be a short lived deal with some unhappy people in the church. We need to discern why people are in our lives and when the season is over.
When we understand when a season is changing or is over, we will not get upset when people leave us or change what they are doing.
Elisha was brought into Elijah’s life to continue as a prophet of God when Elijah’s time was up. See I Kings 19:19-21;II Kings 2:1- 15. Jonathan was in David’s life to be a very good friend to encourage him and to protect David’s life from King Saul who wanted to kill him. I Samuel19-20; II Samuel 1.
Paul and Barnabus were in each others lives to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles. Acts 13-14.
Ask God – Why is this person in my life? Why are these people in my life? Are we to be together? What are we to do together? What is my position here? What is there position? What season are we in? Is the season changing? Is the season over? Are we to continue together? How can I bless them? How can they bless me? I ask You God, “Why are they in my life? Is it wisdom to stay together, and do things together? Are we a good match?
Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it shall be given to you…” When we understand God’s purpose we won’t let the wrong ones stay or the right one get away. Now Holy Spirit “I know You will lead me, guide me, tell me. Help me to shut out my voice, the devil’s voice and other’s voices. I must hear You alone. Romans 8:14 “Those who are being led by the Holy Spirit of God, these are the sons of God.”
Jesus came into our lives to save us from our sins, to deliver us from hell to heaven, to connect us to the Father (John 3:16), and to give us an abundant life. (John10:10).
Why is Jesus in your life? – to give eternal life.
Pray this. Thank you Jesus for going to the cross and dying for my sin. Thank you for washing my sins away by Your blood. I want you to be in my life now. I invite you in. I turn from sin and hell to You and to right living and to heaven. I receive you as my Savior and Lord. Holy Spirit, help me live a life pleasing to my Father in heaven. Holy Spirit, please bring the right people into my life to help me know You and serve You better. Bring people into my life that I can help come to know Jesus and fulfill their purpose. In Jesus name, Amen.
Now read Rom. 3:10, 3:23, 5:8-9, 6:23, 10:9- 10, 13, John 3:16, Acts 1:8, Acts 2:38.
Also Pray – God I pray for Divine appointments in my life and in my family’s lives. Bring the right people for us to meet. And filter out the ones I should not meet or be with. Thank you Lord. In Jesus name, Amen.
Why are you in our life at Christian Cowboys and Friends? Some of you are in Christian Cowboys and Friends ministry to pray, encourage, support, help when possible. Some of you are financial Cowboy Partners. Some of you are in our lives to be helped by us in your walk with Jesus. Some are both – we help you and you help us.
Ask God, “Why is Christian Cowboys and Friends in my life? Do what He says and expect blessings. We give to you. You give to help us. II Cor. 9:7 “…for God loves a cheerful giver.”
Service: What about your group? Is there anything that we can do for you? Let us know.
Your brother and friend in Christ,
Ronnie Christian, Phil. 4:19